Sunday, January 29, 2012

Toddler Decathlon, Events 6, 7 & 8

The Toddler Decathlon continues. The next three events are up! What am I talking about? I explain here.   Events 1-2. Events 3-5.

 Event 6 – The Milk Chug
                An everyday staple since day one that speaks for itself. Each decathlete will down as much lactose as they can within two minutes.  Pukers are automatically disqualified. Additional time awarded for burping or leaving a trail of milk drops across something valuable.

Event 7 -  0 – Tantrum   
                Tantrums.  Sigh. If there ever was the definitive sign your kid just graduated from infancy school into the big leagues, this is it.  The come in all shapes, sizes and embarrassing places.  They come when you’re least expecting and totally unprepared.  Coincidence? I doubt it.  She’s clearly testing our resolve and problem solving skills like lab mice.   Contenders are scored by judges on volume, creativity, and degree of awkwardness in a public setting.  For added difficulty, toddlers must have their favorite toy, food, blanket, and a freshly changed diaper.

Event – 8 The Counter Grab
                About as much as I miss the two naps a day routine, I miss the girl who was just little enough not to reach on top of the kitchen counters.  Everyday things have to get pushed a bit further back making the counter tops look like islands of spices, utensils, and cell phones.  The decathletes will have thirty seconds to snag as much as they can on a forbidden counter top. Scores are based on an item’s sharpness, toxicity, or ability to stain permanently.

1 comment: